My name is Leanda and, initially, I started this blog as a way of presenting pieces I have worked on for a final Uni assignment: a writing portfolio. My intention now is to continue maintaining it in the future as a blog. So far, I’ve written several poems, a short story-originally for children-but it became evident that the concept was too hard for them to grasp, so I hope to adapt it and add suitable artwork. I’ve written two chapters of a Cli-Fi story and will put more time into completing further chapters during summer-break: Uni can take over your life at times, well it most certainly does mine. If I do anything non-Uni related I’m always thinking in the back of my mind, ‘I should be studying’ and as end of semester nears I do little else other than do, and think, about Uni tasks.
By the end of this semester I will have completed seven Creative Writing units, some of which have been Creative Indigenous Writing. I feel I’ve gained valuable insight in regards to Aboriginal culture. It has expanded my understanding of their spirituality and what has become known to Westerners as The Dreaming. I’ve always had a respect for other living things and my surroundings but Aboriginal culture has shown me an aspect of interconnectedness I hadn’t fully grasped: it has taught me how to have respect for everything, animate and inanimate.
After working out the idiosyncrasies of using the blog, I managed to post one poem called The Boarder and I would appreciate any feedback on it so that I can adjust it accordingly. What do you think happened to Danica? She was on the front page of every newspaper and magazine in the country about fifteen years ago and everyone’s interpretation has been anything other than what it was.
I’ll post other poems once I’ve added some other pieces relating to the assignment task, such as a feature article and a review. I’ve written a reflection in relation to writing the poems and will post that when I can work out how to copy and paste it without it changing the format: I’ve learnt that text doesn’t behave in the same way here as it does in a word doc., so it’s taking longer than I had anticipated.
December 5, 2015 at 10:35 am
Sorting out Danica’s story through your words. I find a need for consistent perspective and attention to direction of syntax. A story, a poem, or a prayer I ask you. You take responsibility for understanding things about Danica’s soul and its departure but how is it a personal story without personalizing with recognizable dialect. I ask whose soul departed? If her health has separated her and is a subject in the story, poem, prayer, then you can relate it back to her directly each time you mention it as ‘hers’ and What door closed on whose health? You do speak to her in the first line. I think if you address her soul and health like you do her smile especially in the second to last stanza and continue to the ending place you have you create more than a poem and actually pray for her, ‘your bequest’. Don’t be afraid and maybe fix this twist in another poem. Pray for someone else. Sometimes the nature of our work reflects nature however disturbing and simply doesn’t satisfy. I think you are a really good writer but don’t forget to choose your battles. This one may require that you read it again and value it. Your work is very structured. Some poems work because of their structure. But content sometimes needs wings. Keep it simple.
All my best. I enjoy the work.
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December 5, 2015 at 3:21 pm
Wow. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment in depth. You’re correct about it being structured: I wrote it last year when I was doing another Creative Indigenous Writing unit: Poetry. My lecturer’s feedback was usually something like, that’s “lyrical lace,” which I never found helped me at all. I picked up more from books or the internet on ‘how to write poetry’. This one flowed like a tap and then I kept labouring over it so I asked for advice from my lecturer, if she felt I had overworked it. I wanted to know if it made more sense the first time, and also if she knew what had happened to Danica prior to her anorexia. It’s almost 2 am so I’ll reread your comment with a clearer head. Cheers
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